My original plans for this blog included waiting to begin actually posting until I was pregnant, so that family and friends could keep up with our life. Then Brandon and I made the bold (and somewhat rushed) decision to move to Athens instead of remaining in Covington. Now, it seems, keeping up with family and friends who have become like family will not be as easy as I'd expected throughout this time in our lives where we will both need such intense support and encouragement.
I've been wrestling with the feeling that Athens is not our home. Granted, it's only been a few (three) weeks, but I'd hoped that I would adjust more readily. I think I underestimated how deeply connected I was emotionally to our friends in Covington, our traditions and our routines. I am a person who is very mistrusting of change, and this move has been very stress inducing for a variety of reasons related to this fact.
Last night was especially hard for me because we celebrated the wedding of two dear friends. This entailed a brief visit back into our old lives. Surrounded by all of these people I have come to love so dearly over the past two years, I was struck by the realization that I already felt different from them. All of these beautiful people had seen each other multiple times over the past week and were making plans for Sunday, and I just ached for the way things used to be, even though I was overwhelmed with happiness at seeing my best friends.
Brandon and I visited a church this morning. We didn't love it, but the message was something I desperately needed to hear in light of my intensely selfish and egocentric feelings. This Earth is not our home. No matter how comfortable we may be somewhere, how many friends we have or how alone we feel, how successful we are or how little we have, we are destined for greater things. To get my identity from my home or my friends (no matter how beautiful and wonderful they may be) leads me further away from my real purpose, which is to serve and love and yearn for a God who is so much better and more beautiful and greater than any place or person I have ever loved.
I am sure that in time, Athens will come to be a really wonderful place for me and for us. We have already found places to belong, people to care for us, and ways in which we can give back to our new-found community. When I become overly comfortable in my new life, please reach out and remind me that it doesn't matter, not one whit, unless my identity is in the One who has claimed me.
